my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they call him Oral-B. enough said
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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