I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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