Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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