ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
