I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
