Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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