Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
