I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
