Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
