ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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