who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
