Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
