he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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