Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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