Nicole vs. Life
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
