Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
