I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
