Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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