That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
