it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
