I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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