we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
