bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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