How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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