His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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