I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
