He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
