when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
