the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
