I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
