There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Your dad touched me again.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
