dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
