Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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