yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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