I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
