I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
is that a dick in a sweater?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
