So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
