butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
