We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
