she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
