I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
