At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Pants are for mortals
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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