I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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