More tranny stories later!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
