how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
