are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
