the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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