i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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