I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
