So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
