I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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