Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
